Not an auspicious start...

2007 was not a very good year for yours truly.

It's beginning to look as though 2008 will be just as rocky.

I mentioned that I felt "down" around my last birthday; in truth, it was a bit more than "down"--a lot more. It was bad enough that, when I relayed my experience to my doctor, he ordered some blood work done up, post-haste. Nothing like hearing that you're going to get stuck with a needle to improve one's mood.

I have dysthymic disorder, which is a continuous low-level depression punctuated by occasional deep spells like the one I experienced last year. My doctor thinks that it's a result of my hypothyroidism, and has doubled my medication. Failing that, therapy and anti-depressants are the order of the day. I have noticed some improvement, but I also fought off another spell half-way though the month. From my perspective, my hypothyroidism might by exacerbating something that I have suffered from for many years.

I'm not thrilled about going to therapy. Part of my problem is that my inner critic is a sadist, and while a therapist can point out that my life is dysfunctional, he cannot grant me absolution for my own part in making it so. I had therapy while in grade school, and I'm still fighting the same demon.

And losing. It's a sad thing to realize that I haven't had a day without pain since 1976.

Of course, it could be a lot worse; a friend--someone who I've come to like and respect greatly--is undergoing chemotherapy and radiation treatments to prevent a pre-cancerous mass from closing off one of her carotid arteries, thereby causing brain damage. She's in a lot of pain, and there's nothing I can do to ease it.

And, to top it all off, the Patriots just lost to the Giants, 17 to 14. Peachy.