The Perspective of a Human Toothache

It has been a busy month.

Usually, I start with the bad--get the ugly out of the way, and enjoy the good that follows, that sort of philosophy--but I think the big deserves first billing.

I bought a car.

Buying a car is still something of a rite of passage amongst Americans--independence, mobility, and a sense of control of one's own life, that sort of thing--but you can dodge around that on Boston thanks to the MBTA. Still, even at its best, the T will not get you everywhere in the city; you still need a car to get around. Working as many hours as I do, I've got plenty enough squirelled away to put a down payment on a car. I couldn't afford a car prior to now--too many bad choices in my past, and too much time making up for them. So, without too much drama, I decided that it was now or never.

I'm now the proud owner of a 2007 Toyota RAV 4, color Nautical Blue. Not all the bell and whistles that I could have gotten, but, hey--who gets everything? I have the CD player, so I can play music on my way to and from work; there's just something about cranking AC/DC as you tool down the Pike that's just so satisfying. It would be a lot more satisfying if I didn't have to pay $4 a gallon for gas, but like I said--who gets everything?

I also joined a gym. Nothing fancy, just the basics. I need to get off my fat ass and burn off some of this fat that is weighing me down. Three times a week on the treadmill--it may not be much, but its a start. After a while, I may need to upgrade to to another gym. Cross that bridge when (and if) I come to it. At my age, I don't see much need for more than a basic workout.

I also bought myself a claddagh ring--a symbol of what I hope to be a new beginning. New beginnings deserve a tangible symbol, and an old one will serve quite well. Besides, I do intend to start dating again.

As to the sour, things haven't improved at work. Just as stressful as before, with additional frustrations to boot. I haven't had a month go buy this year without being sick. Too much work, not enough rest.

One of my co-workers suffered a seizure today. I saw him slump over before my eyes, and never felt such a sense of helplessness. I was still shaking by the time I got home. I'm not really cut out for this kind of work. If there hadn't been a nurse nearby, I'd hate to think what would have happened. On the other hand, I do tend to over-estimate my impact while over-blowing my capacity to screw up--the consequence of having a sadist for an inner critic.

I've also become...well, call it an infatuation, call it a crush, what have you, but I've become...interested in a woman at work. Barely notices me, and she is way above my station. Ain't it typical? Still a starry eyed teen at heart. My head knows better, but when does the heart listen.

Fool and Fool again. I never do learn. It's going to end it heartache--it always does.

So it goes.